An Ending
by TerraZeal
Summary: Misa kills herself after witnessing Light and Mikami together. Slash, but not graphic. Some Ryuk/Misa and implied Rem/Misa. T for suicide.


_**Author's Note: **Misa sees Light and Mikami together and commits suicide (well, Mikami uses the Note to kill her, but she would have anyway). Post-Kira Victory AU. Light/Mikami slash. Misa angst. Despite my hatred of her, I don't intend to bash her and will try to make her as in-character as possible. Misa does not have her memories from the Death Note here, nor will she get them back. She is dying as an innocent woman who had been twisted around by a psycho for so long that she forgets what life could be like without him. I honestly DO believe Misa is intelligent and, in her own series, without geniuses like L and Light, could have been a "genius ditz" or something. In DN, she seems to rely on Rem a lot before she meets Light, and then she starts relying on him. If she were alone, her intelligence would show. Rem was very, very smart too. Light just tricked her. Some implied Ryuk/Misa and Rem/Misa (but Rem/Misa is canon, so...)_

_**An Ending**_

Misa Amane turned her hand this way and that, admiring the elegant silver engagement band Light had given her. After his victory against Near and the others, he had revealed to her that he was Kira. Misa had almost passed out from the shock of joy and happiness she had felt.

Her, engaged to Kira! The god of the new world! She couldn't possibly be happier. He had even revealed the source of his powers! Something called a Death Note. He hadn't allowed her to touch it, but it was still amazing.

What unnerved her was that he hadn't revealed to her the secret of how he had won in that warehouse, against the evil people called the SPK who had been trying to take him down. It annoyed her to the point that, one night, after they had made love, she had asked. Light had hit her, which, in her mind, she deserved for questioning her Kira. She had never found out. Light wouldn't tell her.

She sighed petulantly and leaned back on their couch. It didn't smell like Light. He wasn't home enough to even impart his personality on his surroundings. He was off being Kira. Of course, that meant more than being home and sitting on a couch all day, didn't it? Even worse, he kept post-poning the wedding date, as if waiting around for _something_. Misa didn't know why he was waiting, or what he was waiting for.

Sunny, the parakeet in the cage near her couch muttered something unintelligible. She eyed the bird and slid a finger through the cage. The parakeet nibbled on the end of her nail delicately, repeating 'hello' over and over again. Misa wondered why her bird always acted so dumb. Parakeets were supposed to actually talk! Not just say hello. She pouted, but fed Sunny a bit of bird treats near the cage anyway.

She closed her eyes after the bird had finished the treats and lay back down on the couch, turning on the TV. So many 'Worship Kira' programs that she had begun to lose count. As soon as Light had won, even the Japanese police had decided to stop pursuing Kira. People came to realize he was Justice, after all. That woman, the one who had _claimed _to truly have Kira's affections, Kiyomi Takada, had died. Or rather, Kira had killed her. Misa was sure of it.

Light only wanted her, not some other woman. Why would her dear Light have any need for Takada to stay alive when he knew was god of their world and engaged to his precious Misa-Misa? Something almost like remorse caused a twinge in her heart momentarily. She missed Matsui and his Misa-Misa antics. He was funny, kind, caring...everything Light didn't seem to be, at least right now.

Misa hope that would change after they were married. Light would truly love her and be dedicated to her. After all, adultery was evil and Light existed to punish evil. He couldn't marry Misa and ever even claim to care for someone else without it being against his principals. Right? Misa wished she knew. She didn't know Light, these days. Not really.

But then...had she ever? Really?

Sometimes she had dreams. A woman in white, telling her that Light was wrong for her, that he wasn't good, or just. That he was just an evil murderer. When she asked the woman who she was, she just responded that she was someone Light had killed, long ago, when he had his first victory as Kira. She insisted that all she wanted was to make sure Misa was happy and safe. Misa had insisted that she was happy and safe with Light.

The shining, white woman had looked sad, shaken her head, and told her that she wished she had never brought Misa into 'this', whatever 'this' was. They were just dreams, right? Misa had never seen the ethereal woman in her dreams before. Not ever. It was just her imagination. Or maybe Misa was dreaming about an anime character she had glimpsed on TV at some point in time.

Either way, the dreams were recurring with even greater frequency lately. It was getting annoying. She didn't mention it to Light. She didn't think he would like it if she were dreaming about someone who called him an evil murderer. She existed only to please Light. To be his perfect wife, the perfect goddess in his world.

Annoyed with Light's extreme lateness, she decided to forget about TV and dreams and pay him a surprise visit at his own temple. He would never, ever come in front of anyone and say he was Kira outright. He disguised himself as one of his own priests.

Misa was his high priestess. 'Kira' had never appeared in person. He preferred to exist as an invisible god, passing judgment on sinners from afar. It added greatly to the terror and worship he incited in so many. Misa was the only one who knew he was Kira. At least, she was fairly sure. There was another high priest, a dark haired man that Light refused to name, that would glare coldly at her every time she touched and kissed her Light.

Of course, Light was in his priest guise and the dark man didn't know Light was Kira, so perhaps he was simply jealous that she had a lover and he didn't? Misa didn't know why Light refused to give her his name. What was he afraid of? Misa shook her head, shaking away the thoughts like errant cobwebs. She stood up, dressed from head to toe in her high priestess garb, and got a Kira-worshiping bodyguard to drive her to where Light was.

The bodyguard had protested, saying he wasn't allowed, that she wasn't allowed, to go to the Kira temple without Light. She had almost told him then and there that she was the goddess of this world and would NOT be denied by some lame bodyguard that Light could kill as easy as that! Luckily, after she had faked crying and saying how much she missed her fiance, the bodyguard had cracked. Men were so easily manipulated. She had no idea how much she herself had been manipulated.

Brilliant streetlights and shops passed her eyes as the limo drove through the streets of Tokyo to the giant Kira building. It wasn't the disgusting, elaborate design that Demegawa had attempted to make long ago. It was a simple black building with multiple floors that looked more like a business office than a temple of worship. There was no logo, name, or symbol on the building. If you didn't know where it was, you didn't need to get in.

Misa hastened out of the car and typed in the correct security code to get in. Light had claimed she didn't need to know it and had never given it to her. She had only gotten the right code by watching Light's fast fingers fly across the numbers. She was not as stupid as many people considered her to be. If she weren't overshadowed by Light's brilliance, she herself would be hailed as a genius.

If not, then at least as very intelligent. The white woman in her dreams had told her that, and she knew it to be true. She was NOT stupid. She would show Light. Prove to him that she was smart enough, and worthy enough, to lead beside him as Kira's goddess.

Once inside, she rode strode the empty black halls and eventually rode the elevator to the floor that was right below "Kira's room" on the top floor. She knew that was where Light usually worked from. The top floor was for important ceremonies, and for such things as when Kira judged publicly, which wasn't often. The elevator stopped on Light's floor. She hoped he was happy with her when she revealed that she had discovered how to get in on her own, just to see him, be with him. The elevator slid open.

There were dull lights, coming from barely lit wall lights, but it was quite dark for the most part. Her forehead wrinkled in confusion. Was Light even here? Why was it so dark? Misa slowly crept down the halls, her footfalls making no sound. She hadn't worn her platform heels, just soft flats. She wanted to surprise her fiance.

She heard voices coming from a lit-up room near the end of the large room. Light! She smiled and held in her joy, making her way through the dark apartment-type room. She almost tripped over what appeared to be a briefcase. She glanced at it in confusion. Since when did Light carry one of those. Misa shrugged it off. Why did it matter? He was her beloved, he could do what he wanted. Misa lived only to be his perfect wife.

The girl crept slowly toward the door, making no sound. She peaked into the room. She almost screamed at what she saw. It felt like an invisible hand had covered her mouth, and no sound would come out. Light, why? Her lips trembled. Her Light, her fiance...locked in a passionate embrace with that dark haired man from the worship ceremonies. What...? He wasn't gay, he just wasn't! It wasn't even the gay thing that bothered her. It was that he was cheating on her...cheating on his fiance.

Tears streamed down her face, the invisible hand still somehow keeping her from screaming. She stumbled backwards, upending a trash can which made a loud clatter. She heard a grunt from Light, and a mumbled "what was that?" from the dark haired man. Light said something that sounded like "it was probably just Ryuk". Misa wondered what a Ryuk was. Was that the name of the dark haired man? No, Light was calling him Teru. Teru? She remembered that name...a Teru Mikami was one of Kira's most devoted worshipers.

Light was...cheating on her with Teru Mikami? She scrambled to her feet. Light...she wasn't worthy of him. He preferred this Teru to her. He wasn't even that handsome! Taking in Mikami's long, dark hair and odd reddish eyes, she ran to the elevator and punched buttons randomly.

_Will I never be good enough for anyone? Am I doomed to be alone? _Misa cried. No one would ever love her. She was just that awful. She was an awful, stupid, ugly, horrible person. The same invisible hand that had kept her mouth covered when she had seen Light and that disgusting Mikami person seemed to brush her shoulder, squeeze it. What was this? Some part of Kira's power? Misa shook away tears, and the invisible force that seemed to be trying to comfort her.

_I don't deserve to live. I am not part of Kira's perfect world. _The elevator had stopped at the top floor. "Kira's floor". Tears streaming down her face, Misa walked across the room almost mechanically. The black 'throne' near the end of the room hovered in her vision. The room was like a church. There were benches, Kira's teachings in odd black books...Misa used her knuckles to wipe the tears away, smearing her mascara she had put on specifically for Light. It was black with violet highlights, his favorite.

Thinking this only brought new tears to her eyes. He only liked it because it was dark, and slightly resembled Teru's hair. She sat down on a nearby bench and sobbed. _Why, Light? I did everything for you. I was perfect for you. I wanted to be your perfect wife. Kira, my Light, why? _Sobs wracked her body.

It was unmistakable this time. She felt arms wrap around her, pulling her close, trying to comfort her. Ghosts. She wasn't scared.

"I can't see you, but go away. Ghosts don't scare me. Nothing does, anymore. I lost everything I loved. I will never be good enough for him, no matter how I try. Go away, ghost. You can't help me or comfort me." The arms wrapped around her did not leave.

It appeared the ghost was almost saddened by this. Its arms contracted and pulled her even tighter.

"Let me go. I have something I need to do. Please." She pleaded with her ghostly captor. "I am not worth trying to comfort."

She forcibly wrenched herself out of the invisible hold and ran to the floor length windows. She slid them open, not even sure if she were thinking by herself anymore. It didn't matter. She would have done this anyway. She stepped up to window, gazing at her reflection. The black mascara streaked down her face in black lines and her eyes were puffy.

She pressed a small hand against the window, glancing inside at the Kira room. This would be the last time she saw it. She turned away from the window and took a step onto the balcony railing. She glanced at the gleaming lights of the traffic below. With agility from all the personal training she'd done as a model, she slid over the railing easily.

Only her hands and delicate feet were between her and the end. Misa closed her eyes. _I will never be good enough. I love you, Light. I always have, I always will. _She let go. For a moment, she felt ecstasy as the wind passed through her hair and screamed in her ears. Darkness rushed up to meet her. Free. She was finally free. She welcomed the darkness.

The door slid open and Light and Mikami went to the balcony the stupid girl had jumped from.

Mikami gave Light a twisted smile. "It is over, Kami, my love." He held up his own Death Note, showing Light the entry. _Misa Amane. Commits suicide after witnessing her fiance with another man. _Light laughed. Mikami always did have a flare for the dramatic. What a perfect end for such an irritating woman. He watched police cars swarm her body, trying in vain to save her. She had fallen from a several story building. Even if her name wasn't in the Death Note, she would not have survived.

Light held out his hand to Mikami, who took it and kissed it before letting Light pull him towards him. Mikami nuzzled into Light's shirt, reveling in the scent and presence of his Kami.

Ryuk watched them. He had failed to save her. Misa. She hadn't deserved the death she had been given. But as he had always told them, once someone's name was written in the Death Note, there was no saving them. He had tried to make her death more comfortable. Had tried to show her...kindness? Love? He wasn't sure. Shinigami didn't love. And he wasn't one to kill himself for her, like Gelus, like Rem. Still, the Shinigami had seen what they did in Misa.

Her kindness, her unrecognized intelligence...she truly was a special woman, and at times Ryuk wished he really could save people without dying. He would have written Light and Mikami's name down. Light was psychotic, and his lover was no better. Ryuk remembered watching with disgust as Mikami wrote names in the note and touched himself, screaming "DELETE, DELETE, DELETE!" over and over again.

Ryuk sighed and turned away from Light and Mikami. Despite his dislike of them, they were never boring. Always, something interesting. He flew down the building and watched them load Misa's body, covered in a black bag, into an ambulance. The Shinigami reached out, almost as if he were trying to touch her.

"Good-bye, Misa. You were loved, even if you didn't feel like it." He turned from the scene, from her blood on the pavement, and the ambulances, and returned to Kira and Mikami.

**R/R. I always did kind of feel bad for Misa, even though I really hate her.**


End file.
